Thursday, March 12, 2009

100 Days and Counting...

-Breakfast: 2 peanut butter granola bars, 2 cups of coffee.
-Lunch: Chex turtle bar, packet oatmeal, packet of fruit snacks, handful of goldfish crackers.
-Dinner: Turkey Parmigiana and pineapple-orange juice (courtesy of smokin hot wife).
-Snacks: Package of fruit snacks, and a few cadbury mini-eggs Heather brought home from the store, glass of pineapple orange juice.

Swim, 30 minutes of hard effort, RPE 6. Felt good, except for the other guy in the pool. See below.

Run, 100 minutes, unfortunately on the treadmill (too dark and cold to do it outside). I started off strong, and the legs felt great. But, I overestimated my ability to digest turky parmigiana, and I had to throw in 7 minutes of brisk walking, as my gut was threatening to stop working. It settled down, and I finished the 100 minutes at 11 miles total, and feeling good.

So, another gym story today, and this one is about the inappropriate speedo... As you may have read in an early post, I don't wear the man-panty style speedo. In almost all circumstances, those are not appropriate, and few, if any, can get away with wearing one. If you do, you damn well better be ripped, "gifted", or an Olympic caliber swimmer. If you aren't, you are violating Speedo Rules. Yes, even if you are European.

Below are all of the Speedo Rules Violations that I observed today at the gym. Amazingly, ALL of these rules were violated BY ONE MAN. You can imagine my distress.

1. If you look like the guy in the picture above, you cannot wear a speedo.

2. If you have body hair like Chewbacca, and do not laser/wax/pluck/shave or otherwise remove it, you cannot wear a speedo.

3. If you do a freestyle stroke, breast stroke, back stroke, and dog paddle ALL in one 25 yard length of the pool, you cannot wear a speedo.

4. If you complete the ridiculous swim routine above, and cap it off with a flip turn at the wall, you cannot wear a speedo (and you should be punched in the throat).

5. If you complete the ridiculous swim routine above, and cap it off with a flip turn at the wall, and then have to immediately stop, stand up, and catch your breath, you cannot wear a speedo.

6. If you violate Rule 5, and don't realize that you have to catch your breath because you have the worst, most inefficient flip turn in the world, combined with the swim technique of a drowning cow, you cannot wear a speedo.

And the most egregous of ALL the rules that were broken today, was the Universal Speedo Law. the one EVERYONE knows, even the ones who break ALL the other Speedo Rules.

Don't talk to me. Don't say hello. Don't even look in my direction.

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